Author Archives: tylushus

Christmas Newsletter 2015

I am terrible with cards. From the birthday card that I carelessly selected from the “With Sympathy” section, to the time I sent out several dozen Christmas cards without postage—some of which were delivered C.O.D.—I’ve just never really nailed down the art. Continue reading

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Ty and the Amazon Free Towel Conspiracy

For fuck’s sake, There was never any chance that Amazon wouldn’t fuck this up. I ordered a set of towels last week, and on Friday, I received notification that they had arrived. I’ve ordered these same towels before, so I … Continue reading

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A different kind of wedding announcement…

Friends and family, It is my pleasure to share that Dylan Malone and I will be getting married on February 28th. By now, you’re thinking, “Couldn’t he just have sent a postcard?” The truth is: no. I’m too long winded. … Continue reading

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Mixups, Mayhem, and a Gangbang

The country club at the end of the trailer park The first thing I noticed when we got to the country club was the tragic music selection. It was a bi-polar imbalance of elegant Christmas standards meeting an uncertain mix … Continue reading

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Christmas Newsletter 2014

Greetings friends and family! I was just about to pass out from strangling myself with Christmas tree lights when I realized that it’s that time of year again! Buckle up, cause it’s your annual Christmas newsletter! Baby Jessica fell down … Continue reading

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Drunk News – April 2014

If you’ve ever watched Good Morning America in the bar, you can probably agree that the person sitting next to you—especially if it was me—has a better storytelling angle for the headline than the news anchor. To that end, I … Continue reading

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Stay Classy, CVS

People waiting for their prescriptions usually have the emotional fortitude of Kurt Cobain… Continue reading

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