Fixing Craigslist – April 2011

I’ll take this opportunity to announce to those of you who may not know: I’m now a manager at a dick-dancer bar.  And being that I work in the lower echelon of bars—we’re lower than titty—I have a more warped unique perspective than in blogs past.

Pay to Paddle You – m4m – 41 (North Dallas)
Looking to spank a cool in shape guy.  Limits respected, nothing crazy or extreme.  I can host.  GL professional, cleancut, ddf, discreet and expect the same.  If you have a great butt you go to the front of the line.  Email me stats and body pic and let me know when you are available to go over your big brother’s lap!

You want to pay someone for this?!  Bitch get your riding crop and go home.  Donate to Ty’s Bar Tab Relief Effort instead.

You cut me off – m4m – 32 (City Place)
I drive an 18 wheeler. Friday morning I was turning right to get onto the entrance ramp lane. I was about 90% into my turn, then suddenly there you were. Coming from the U turn lane. You just cut me off. I had to break and my breakfast went everywhere. Dude…you owe me either breakfast or a drink. You were white, dark hair, and drove a Toyota Cruiser. What color was it?

As it happens, it was a Toyota Yaris.  And it was blue.  There’s a better chance of me complying with the speed limit in a school zone than buying you breakfast or a drink.  Next time I lay into the horn as you’re taking five painfully slow minutes to maneuver your enormous ass out of the three lanes of traffic you’re blocking, you’ll know to move. out. of. my. way.

Looking for guy who answered Looking 4 Unattractive BB Tops – m4m – 35 (dallas)
looking for the big uncut daddy who came to me while i was blindfolded. Sorry didn’t get to finish. lets reschedule

FAIL! I can’t help but wonder how many times your mother dropped you on your head before you lost all standards and judgment.  This is even more sad and desperate than when I run out of vodka when the liquor store is closed.

Tapelenders – m4m – 35 (Dallas/Cedar Springs)
You really helped me in my small amount of fickleness, to decide which product to purchase. We actually talked a lot. Where am I from? Would be nice to make a friend or two more here in Dallas. Maybe coffee/dinner before I leave, as friends of course!

I never get tired of reading about Chance on Craigslist.  I’m sure he’d love to hear someone is looking for him… I’ll pass it along to him!

Hitler and Bondage – m4m – 40 (Arlington)
You mentioned that Hitler and his neice were really into S&M. I hope that you read this, although I think it is a long shot! Regardless, it is worth a go!

I am judging this worse than Judge Judy ruling on an urban civil dispute.  Although I guess there is a warped sense of talent in successfully referencing Hitler in a pickup line.

Well, I gotta get back to work!  There’s dancers to chase back to the poles… cocktails to be poured… and dreams to be made and shattered one lap dance at a time.

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