Fixing Craigslist – October 2010

This month on Craigslist…

redhead at Little Caesers in Mesquite – m4m
Dude…you were working the window at Little Caesers on Gus Thommason Sunday night. You looked very tasty indeed. I would like to try something you have (similar in shape to the breaksticks in the Krazy Kombo) You are as hot as the pizza you handed me!!!!!!!!!

“Hot as the pizza you handed me,” Worst. pickup. line. ever.

TODAY STATE FAIR U WKED FT LONG CORNDOG STAND NEAR WHERE DOG SHOW WAS – m4m (STATE FAIR )
HEY MAN U WERE YOUNG GUY 18 TO EARLY 20`S U HAD DARK HAIR AND THERE WAS A GIRL WKING THERE WITH U AND HER AND ANOTHER GUY WAS TRYING TO HIT A BEE MAYBE THERE BETWEEN 11 TO 12 MAYBE U WERE SO CUTE U WERE MAKING THE CORN DOGS WE SPOKE BRIEF U SD COME BACK AND SEE ME I WANTED TO BUT TOOK MY MOM AND HER BACK WAS HURTING HAD TO GO I WANTED TO GIVE U MY NUMBER BUT IF U WERE NOT INTO GUYS DIDNT WANT TO MAKE U UNCOMFRTABLE BUT IF U SEE THIS HIT ME UP WOULD LOVE TO PLAY WITH UR CORN DOG =) AND FEED U MINE TOO

HEY ASSHOLE, STOP USING ALL CAPS. It was bad enough that your desperate attempt at story-telling was unforgivably under-punctuated… but sexualizing a corn dog? You should be chained to the Ferris wheel and forgotten about.

asking for advise – m4m – 24 (new to houston)
Needing some help from my community… I am new to houston and looking for an apartment – let me rephrase that.. affordable apartment. Do any of you have any suggestions for the Montrose – Heights- Galleria area? I looked today at a couple of places on 18th.. but wasnt really impressed. Any help would be much appreciated .

You’re asking strangers on Craigslist for advice. This is either a misguided cry for help or a cleverly disguised prostitution ad.

Jim, where are you? – m4m
Jim, You’re an older guy that I used to service at your Allen Parkway Patio home. Reply to me please, I need to service you again. -rick

What do you mean you need to? Oh, I get it. You’re a prostitute. Hate to break it to you, Rick (I really don’t, actually): He died. You weren’t in the will. Sorry you had to find out this way.

Looking for Master Pan – m4m (seattle)
I am looking for Master Pan …or if anyone knows is he is still around or how to get ahold of him I have been bad and need to be punished. thanks you Sir

WTF kind of name is Master Pan?! I’ve just never understood those people who go in search of an abusive relationship. You’ve been very, very bad. Go play in traffic.

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