Fixing Craigslist part deux

No, you don’t have Déjà vu—this is a sequel to the first Fixing Craigslist. This could become a monthly thing if Dallas people keep posting these sordid ads… And of course if you guys continue to get a good laugh out of them. Let the judging begin!

Pool Party – m4m – 22 (You know)
http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/mis/1780231055.html
Some dirty nasty hot things happened this past sunday, and maybe I want them to happen again. You sat down to pee, it was weird lol who does that in front of people? Anyways if you are interested (which I know you are) then get back to me.

Haha, This was posted the day after Johnny‘s birthday party. So, the anonymous stranger you’re looking for “sat down to pee”?? And that’s the best description you can provide?! Wait, why were you in the bathroom with a stranger? Or did he do this outside… while the str8 girl was stripping down in front of the hot tub?

Forgive me Father… – m4m
http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/mis/1783533005.html
…for I have sinned… This is a very long shot but I wouldn’t be in peace without giving a try… so here we go: you are a priest. Young, 30ish, very handsome. You work in a big parish in one of the cities of the Metroplex. I go to Masses to see you. You heard my confessions… and I think I’m really in love with you. I’m pretty sure you’re st8… who knows… The only thing I can assure you is that I’m very discrete and would be wonderful just to have the courage to say in your face what I feel for you…

I’ve either had too much Darvacet or not enough alcohol, because at this point all I can say is: You. are. going. to. hell.

Round up $5 theft – m4m
http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/mis/1767582679.html
I tried to take $5 by telling you Paris Hilton was in the distance. You didn’t believe me. Can I try again?

Only if you want me to empty an entire bottle of pepper spray into your face.

midtown – m4m – 47 (third floor)
http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/mis/1779084652.html
you fellas were smokin hot… but you came in several times an just stood there an left. this was sunday mornin around dawn i was gettin scared the 3rd time. i was expecting some great sex, but ended up having great sex. lol.. just not with you fellas. dont be shy next time. was it the blindfold? yall was roamin around around dawn sunday morning

Blindfold?! Where the hell was this mess at? P.S. I don’t think anyone has been “smoking hot” since Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

24 hour fittness Valley Ranch/635 – m4m – 30 (Valley Ranch/635)
http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/mis/1777425726.html
You were sitting on the bench closest to the showers today around 4 when I began my work out. Upon returning to the locker room around 5:30, I noticed that you were still there sitting on the same bench leering. Your behavior is what gives some of us gay men a bad reputation. The lecherous manner in which you chose to cruise was not only inappropriate, but just down right creepy. Your behavior made several other guys uncomfortable as people where talking about ” the fat gay guy that was hanging out the locker room that should be upstairs on the treadmill.” This is not meant to be offensive or catty, but please show some dignity about yourself and stop making yourself look desperate and lonely. It’s not inconspicuous or sexy, it is sad.

LOL!!! Greatness. Although I’m going to need you to stop discouraging future content. Creepy guys keep Craigslist sordid and amusing. Back. off.

Until next time… Feel free to comment on the priest fetish ad. That one is going in my scrapbook of social shame.

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